As a child, I have always been coached to be bookish and ambitious. Like others, I too had fantasies of my own. A reputed job, a lavish house, a car, lots of money, a family of my own, kids. I still remember my mother comparing my marks with my cousin and making me learn how to score more marks than her so that my grandfather would leave more property for us and love us more. Her stem killing words” Look at your sister. She is very intelligent. She will definitely become a doctor and you would do nothing. What are you going to do in your life”? Obviously, I used to get jealous (like any other kid of that age). So from that day no more outings, no shopping till I score more than my sister. All this crap shoot.
Today, I am 30 years old, and all I crave from my life is peace, happiness, and good health. Nothing else.How can we decide the future of our child on the basis of those pieces of paper? As a matter of fact, this is what has been happening in our so called New age of phonegregation. Each and everyone dreams for our child to be a high muckety musk. And in lieu of this, we are very well equipped and handy with all the resources. Basically, we have the remote control in our hands so that we can regulate our children's life. We repress, burden and dominate our kids and persuade them to live a cursory life. Not only this, some of us are expert in programming their minds with a smart code that says that “only the rich ones are able to survive in this competitive world.”As a result, we have been derailing from the trenches of parenting.
Unfortunately today, parents have become myopic and bringing up World beating and Tech sheep individuals. Consequently, they have turned impetus, dissatisfied and complaining. They are not living life, rather just surviving. Just take out one minute from your busy schedule and speculate how many of us have tried to spend the time to teach our kids how to be gregarious and kinetic? Have we ever taught them about life? We have been very casual in this approach when it comes to teaching the most imperative aspect of our life- Life skills. I have come across a myriad of children, who are well-to -do, exceptionally rich and living a magical life. But still are not happy. They say they don't find their life interesting and it seems as if they have no purpose. In other words, they feel insular and whine for being docile to their parent's expectations. No doubt, parents are available 24*7 when their kids need them, however, despite a king size life, they are missing the heydays of their childhood. Then there are other's who are obsessed with a posh lifestyle and being a Swag in their life, however, lack basic mannerisms and think that they are the squawk of the town and can conquer the world. They also tend to treat those below them(middle class/poor class) as servile. From taking drugs to alcohol to committing a crime such children are paralyzing the society. They are becoming antagonistic and obtuse. Hence, further deteriorating the new breed. My heart is filled with grimace for these people – who are our stars of tomorrow.
The need of the hour is to educate them about life and its importance over a long haul. We ought to make them life ready. Switch on from Surviving mode to Living mode. Let them discover their true self and recreate their reality. Our approach has to be empirical as well comprehensive in this matter. Nobody would like our child to be a mindless zombie or a screen walker.
For all those helicopter parents and Tiger Moms: Expect effort, Net Perfection, chances are excellent that your son/daughter will someday land a job, get married and encounter various conflicts and disagreements. Can your child handle that tension? He'll be better set up if he's had to deal with and resolve conflict in his formative years if we make it a regular practice to introduce living skills in them.
Let's see how can we act like a chaplain and keep an eye on the ground in transmitting life skills to our children:
Abstain from stuffing your child's emotional hunger with possessions- when we feel sorry for not spending quality time with our kids, we conceal their feelings by buying them things. It must be learned thoroughly that money cannot buy happiness and love for your little ones. So if your child gets oppressive, that's a red flag to pause, nip your busy world and set your preferences.
“ Children thrive when you give them half as many presents and twice as much of your presence.”
Instead of shaming, charge up your kids to create their own abundance: Consider the situation: When buying a toy for her sister in a toy store.“ Don't even start asking-----. You know better than that! Don't you ever get enough? Do you think money grows on trees? You don't even take care of the things you have. This approach teaches your child that he doesn't deserve (of course he's deserving) that he's greedy for wanting things, that he is powerless to get what he wants in life(which makes him feel resentful and deprived) all those riches lined up on the shelves are for other people but not for him.
What about this approach?
I hear you, I hear you---. You really want it! How much is it? Well ----- I guess ------ Do you promise you'll be a good girl all week and really listen?This is the positive approach that one should follow. Definitely, your child will feel motivated and he would understand you.
“I just wanted to add my thanks to MPKP. My daughter commented after our meeting that. ‘Now she is excited’ about college planning. Up until now our experience have made her stressed, insecure and overwhelmed. I really appreciate your helping her see this experience can be positive and exciting."
“I wanted to take a moment to express my Thanks to MPKP for counseling my son Satwinder through a difficult time in his life. I saw a visceral Change in his attitude and I truly believe this is the start of something wonderful for him”.
“The Training was fantastic. I have learned so many new techniques and Strategies that I want to go back to the classroom to use the ice breakers, tips on Body Language and better Listening Skills. I feel after this training, I am a Stronger Teacher”.
“I found most helpful in this training how to communicate with the youth relating to them on their level. I now realize how important praise is- it keeps me more positive. I feel prepared to teach Life Skills to the youth I work with. The trainer showed us how to encourage group Discussions and Conduct Interactive Seminars.”
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